Not the butterflies in your tummy, but in your head.

_MG_9878I have been troubled with anxiety for quite awhile now. Some of my friends are plugged in about it, and some just had no idea at all.

I’m not sure what is the cause of my anxiety. It sparks when I am sitting in a tense, loud or an immobile situations, in a room of strangers and I have to subtle myself, when I am driving in the high road and I have an ocean in my mind, and at times I feel pressured. It doesn’t necessarily means I have to be alone when my anxiety provoke, it happens when I’m with people I feel safe with too. It’s just that when I am with people I feel safe, I can deal with my anxiety better.

The things that I had to go through are:

  • Panic Attacks.
  • A drastic feeling of vexation around people which would eventually generate to a panic attack.
  • Dizziness.
  • Migraine.
  • Migraine with aura.
  • Headaches.
  • Shortness of breath.

Most of the people who never had anxiety or went through a panic attack will not understand what it feels like and might think you’re a little ‘crackpot’. But my bestfriends and boyfriend played along well and tried their very best to understand my situation.

At one point, I thought I was not right in the head myself. I even went to the psychiatrist, in DEMC, and when asked what was the causes of my problem was, he said something in my body went haywire which causes a false alarm. So of course, I came to a conclusion that I am psycho or somewhat. I was given Lexapro and Xanax, which made me feel drugged? and even-tempered. It did help but it was temporary and I wanted to heal myself for good. So I did not continue my modern medicine.

I took an initiative to google up to find another alternative to heal my anxiety and I found this http://www.drdhilip.com

I actually went and see Dr.Dhillip  a few days ago, and he’s a very heartening person. He suggested yoga and hypnosis. I’ve never tried hypnosis before, so I’m giving it a shot soon. Hopefully, I can cope with my anxiety with this technique.

PS:// The reason I decide to write on this is in all honesty, not because of I want your pity or trying to obtain for attention. The cognition is that, it’s because I know I am not the only one who is subjected of anxiety and it always made me feel more fitting when I know that there’s somebody out there whose going through the same thing as I am and  I am not by myself lonesome.

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3 thoughts on “Not the butterflies in your tummy, but in your head.

  1. Nadira

    I’m glad I found this post. I usually think to myself that the mild panic attacks I have are just my mind playing tricks on me, and that I’m being too dramatic about things. I have a question; do you get these feelings at parties/raves? It’s just something I usually get, but instead of migraines, I get nauseous and feel my heartbeat accelerate. And I’d like to know about your progress with the yoga and hypnosis, once you’re in the midst of it. I’d like to try it out too, if you don’t mind sharing :).

    • porcelainred

      I don’t usually get this at raves because I think when I am at raves, I don’t have much to think and I am not really self occupied and I have to be still. I face panic attacks A LOT in the cinema, aeroplane and tunnels though and sometimes at house parties. A place where I feel like I am in a box. I guess different people react differently.

  2. porcelainred

    I had always been practising yoga through books and youtube videos and sometimes with a guide of a friend whose experienced in it. It doesn’t really help my panic attack because I think I’m not doing it right. I never went to class before and I am planning to go tomorrow, and also my hypnosis treatment starts tomorrow. I will write a review about it soon. And yeah my heartbeat accelerates like HELL sometimes, most of the times before I go to bed.

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